Lesson 4:

LEAVING VICTIM MODE BEHIND 

The lessons you learn here will change the way you view your world and your opportunities. Once we understand that coming into the present moment, getting out of our heads and into our bodies is always an option. If we are suffering it is because we are choosing to stay in the circles of the mind. We are now becoming responsible for our reality.

 

Everything, everyone and every circumstance is an opportunity - for learning, for feedback, for growth. We greet triggers with compassion and curiosity. 

Once we release ourselves of the need to be right & to be perfect we can finally experience what it is to be in the flow of life. Being judgmental, defensive or controlling are sure signs we are in protective mode. That our Ego is running the show. That our inner child is feeling afraid and is kicking off to protect itself.

But there is no war. What are you really fighting for? You can choose right NOW to come back into your body, to open, to be compassionate and to return to unconditional love.

The go fights to be right. Your soul just wants to be happy. 

TAKING RESPONSIBILITy

When we are caught up in focusing on the symptom, or circumstance we can fall into a trap of trying to control the external world. Rather than coming back to the true cause of our distress, which is always just a broken belief. Watch the below video and then use the Chaos to Clarity worksheet, which will guide you to turn things around so that you can see, think, feel and behave in alignment with your higher self.

be empowered

We are no longer powerless. We are empowered to choose. As we practice our ability to come into our bodies and reconnect with our heart, we expand into our higher selves. There is never a reason to hang out in 'suffering'.  As we get more skilled, we can redirect our energy, our attention and our intention quicker and quicker. Like any muscle, it takes training. We understand that our energy is precious. Waste it running marathons in your mind, or take a breath, take a pause & come back to the TRUTH. The BLESSING meditation will guide you from feeling like a victim to a place of immense growth. When we approach triggers as opportunities for learning & healing, we no longer feel powerless. We are not looking to blame others for how we feel. How we feel is our responsibility. Reclaiming control by releasing the triggers hold over us, and acknowledging the inner child whose broken belief has been touched.

You can revisit this meditation as often as needed. There is no longer any excuse to cling to a grudge or hold others accountable for how YOU feel. You have the choice to learn and grow. Following listening to this meditation fill out the worksheet below to reflect upon what you learnt.

perfectionism is a trap

Let's get real, being perfect is impossible. By setting yourself such standards you rob yourself of trying new things, of learning, of receiving feedback, of growing, of being in flow of life. Your need to be perfect is an attempt to control. All the while the only thing that is really being controlled is your potential, fulfilment and enjoyment. The TRUTH USperfectionism is setting yourself up to fail indefinitley, to feel like youre constantly not good enough. Breaking through my perfectionism is what allows me to now reach hundreds of people, to teach, share love, guide and mentor people from living in fear to living in freedom.  When you die, there is no award for how close to perfection you were. People will remember whether you did things with all of your heart, or if you only showed up when you could be 'perfect'. Being a perfectionist can often be joked about as a 'good trait' - as if it somehow means you are diligent or worthy. But don't get it twisted. Being perfect is nothing other than choosing to live your life in fear. Decide once and for all that you are ENOUGH, that coming from LOVE is ENOUGH, that 80% is good ENOUGH - and you open up a whole world of opportunities for JOY! Fill in the worksheet below and consider whether being a perfectionist is serving you and if you could choose differently.

DRAMA 

The ego feeds off drama.

Now is the time to identify how have you been spinning dramatic stories in your head. If you're saying yes when you mean no so you can be resentful and angry- you're creating drama. If you're adding fuel to fires because being 'involved' feels good, you're wasting precious energy. Drama is not love.  The feedback loops that create anger and big feelings are a trap to give you an illusion of 'belonging'. Ever notice that you create a fight with a partner for the make-up high? Drama is not love. Your ego loves to feel like a victim, so we create circumstances where someone else is positioned as the abuser, so we can feed our victim energy. People pleasing so you can feel taken advantage of? These cycles of drama stop NOW. Get honest. Where have you created drama in the past? The moment you can own up to it, is the moment you can change it. But if you're forever looking for someone else to blame, you are powerless. 

Repeat: 'I Am Not Available For Fighting'

'I no longer seek out Drama'

CAUSE DISRUPTION

We want to cause as much disruption to the nervous system as possible.  The brain fires off the same old messages (thoughts) because it has been wired to seek the path of least resistance. When we cause disruption to this process, we create new neural networks in the brain. We can disrupt our behaviours by taking violent action in the opposite direction, we can challenge beliefs by dropping into to our embodied truth, through meditation and we can create a disruption to our pattern of thinking by 'thought stopping'. We can cause disruption by breaking simple habits, like changing our route to work!

 

There are many ways to cause disruption. If it is uncomfortable or new- even better. It means we are actively challenging the thoughts and their consequent impact on the nervous system (bodily sensations, feelings) by taking violent action! Disruption can be fun and playful - so challenge yourself to enjoy this part of re-wiring the brain!

what do you choose?

How we do one thing, we do everything. So if you want to be empowered to choose your the landscape of your inner world, including your thoughts, feelings and beliefs, it's time to take responsibility for your external choices and behaviours.

 

From a place of LOVE there is nothing you cannot do. From a place of LOVE there is nothing you are not worthy of. From a place of LOVE breaking habits is as simple as an intention to live in alignment with your new truth. 

 

If we are no longer feeding the belief of 'I am not good enough' then we no longer take part in behaviours that feed this belief. Living in alignment means your beliefs, thoughts, feelings and behaviours are conducive. So let's get clear on the things that are no longer serving you.that are no longer in alignment with your new beliefs. That are not raising your frequency to the person you are becoming. This isn't about being perfect! This is about being empowered. YOU DECIDE!

© 2020 by Ashlie Walker

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